What do you Want?

That is the question.  What do we want?  The answer to that question depends largely on who we are, how old, where we live, where we were born, whether we grew up beloved or broken, abused or nurtured.  There are as many answers to that question as there are humans on the planet.  And if we asked all other living beings what they want, they might have some fascinating answers for us as well.

Brigid of Kildare wanted to feed and clothe the poor.  She gave away so many things, so much of her father's goods that she would have impoverished him.  So, they say, he sold her into slavery, but that didn't last either. Some say her father was a Druid.  She seems to have lived during a time when that could have been true. She wanted her heaven to have a lake of ale, where everyone could come and be relaxed and happy and share their wisdom and tell stories.  She apparently came to understand that if you can't find heaven here, you will never find it "there."

In AA we are taught that if we work the twelve steps we will finally have what we want.  Of course, they don't tell you on the first day that what you want will change utterly from that day onward.  That your heart and your mind will be transformed by conscious contact with the God of your understanding, whatever you choose to call  God. ("Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind...")  Every single thing will change over time until you are happy.  And you may find that the only true happiness is doing God's will because it is what you actually want to do.  If that sounds like a God you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, get another God.  Fire that one and find the one that loves you, unconditionally, exactly as you are this very moment.  And if that makes you want to rant at me that there is only one God, and that only Scripture can tell us about Him (Hime???), then I invite you to live long enough to learn better.

There is always someone smarter in the room. Always a better preacher.  Always a prettier woman, a more handsome man.  Always a better athlete or actor, or whatever.  The odds that I am the holiest person who ever lived are laughable.  What are the odds that it's you?

I can only tell you how much easier it is to be one of the group.  A member of the pack. A voice that harmonizes, and disappears into the group of singers instead of standing out because of its extraordinary beauty.  It leaves me content, peaceful inside my own skin.  

One of the most devastating illnesses in the USA is depression.  It makes us think we aren't good enough, or rich enough, or articulate enough, or tough enough, or yadda, yadda, yadda.  It makes us want to sleep all day, or even to die, rather than continue to be alone and different.  It makes us join groups that glorify our worst aspects, so we can more easily be used by those who play the so-called Long Game to consolidate their power.  

You deserve to be happy now.  You deserve to be loved.  You don't have to fix the world or even yourself.  Meditation can teach you that.  Living in the silence between Call and Response, speaking from there, and only when you believe you are truly being asked to do so, will lead you to where you were always meant to be.  Baba Ram Dass would say, "Be Here Now."  It has been said that this is a prophetic time.  Be careful, my dear children.  Prophets usually meet a bad end.  But, my goodness, look at the children these days.  They've got this.  They actually know what to do next.  

I am filled with hope for the future.