When All My Foes Surround Me

And war breaks out against me, he will hide me. This I find to be true, so long as I live in conscious contact with God. 

     What happens is that the Spirit in me comes forward and my ego steps back.  I hear myself handling people, places and things in a way I never would have thought to use. Calmly, slowly, peaceably, I just keep the conversation going until the fuse sputters out.  Or whatever. Overwhelm doesn't happen.  I can't do that.  I never take the high road. 

     So, cops.  For me, that technique might work.  I'm white.  My friends might be better off if I were there with my white skin and my phone on record.

     Or not.  There is copspeak I must ignore in order to stay calm. There are numerous white supremacists in the PD who must not be triggered, or I might spend the night in jail alongside my friend, a person of color.

     When I'm alone in my car and lights and sirens go off behind me, I am afraid, even in daylight.  If a person of color (some of whom are family members) is also in my car, my heart pounds, because the cop(s) might drag them off for riding while brown or black. Whereupon my temptation will be to get loud and demanding. A smart person calls her lawyer and gets them on it right away. A smart woman drives to a cop shop and leans on the horn.  I don't want to disappear at the hands of a "wanna be."

     I recall riding with a family member when we were stopped for "rolling through a crosswalk"  by a female cop who had taken a special interest in this family member.  I personally know a cop who told me the other cops call her a b*ll-b***king beeotch".   For whatever reason, my family member started getting loud and angry.  I made sure the cop could hear me say, "We don't shout at police officers.  She's just doing her job". The lady cop let us switch places, and I drove away.  I was still shaking for fear.  She might have taken the car, and we'd never afford to get it back from the tow company.

     But I was talking about what happens when the Holy Spirit leads me and I shut up.  Under those conditions, I am without fear.  I am full of peace.  I can love everyone involved.

     I make no claim to be sent "on a mission from Gawd." I am saying that daily prayer and meditation can make me less of a fool than when I'm on my own.

     Now that I'm old and have nothing to lose, I speak the truth.  Calmly.  Insistently.  With deep peace.  Sometimes.  

     If I had a scooter and the strength, I'd be out in the street, risking the million dollars bail I don't have.  Because my brothers and sisters in Christ are still suffering...after hundreds of years.  Let's fix it this time, or die trying.  Amen.